Ok...I'm really upset with PayPal. I paid $850 for a service but the provider only wanted half now so PayPal refunded the $850 but put a hold on it. THEN PayPal turned around and took $425 out of my account. Now I've paid $1275 instead of $425 and PayPal said, "it will take 'a few days' to sort this out" AHHHHH.

SWIM THIS WAY

I swam 10 miles yesterday!

Okay, that's not really true...except in my mind.

I took my daughter to the pool yesterday since it was a bright, warm, sunny Saturday morning on Guam.  I normally don't go in the water with her.  I don't know why I don't because I love the water.

My daughter motivated me today, though.  It didn't take much motivation because I've been secretly wanting to go swimming for the longest time.

It's odd because it's as if I've been talking myself OUT of swimming all these months we've lived on Guam even though I really want to.

Don't raise that eye brow at me!  I see you doing it.

This day was different.  I had the urge to swim laps.  Now realize that the last time I swam laps was 1994 while stationed on Diego Garcia.  That was the other time I live in the middle of the ocean thousands of miles from anywhere.

I splashed around for a while and and then I did it.  Yes, I borrowed my daughter's goggles and took off for the lap lanes.

So no, I didn't really swim 10 miles but I DID swim 200 meters...which I didn't think was bad for a middle-aged overweight woman who hasn't done regular exercise of ANY kind for centuries.

Anyway, what that taught me was what I have know all along...I may work full-time at a day job, work after hours building my network marketing business, take care of my daughter, and do all the chores inside and outside of the house, but there is always time for exercise IF and only IF I decide to do it.

For all you out there reading this, especially the single parents, you can do it.  I want to help you do it.  I'm taking the 90 Day Challenge by Visalus which is helping me initially shed all those excess pounds, then help me maintain my muscle.

Join me today and we can discover health and discover wealth together!

FAMILY DAY

I wish I could say I was like a kid a Christmas that morning but I wasn't.  I think I was too numb.

I really didn't know what to expect meeting my daughter for the first time.

All the other parents to be were running around, talking non-stop, giggling, crying, excited beyond belief.

I wasn't like that. 

All I kept thinking was that I was going to be a mom but I had no earthly idea what I was doing.  Okay, maybe I wasn't just numb, I was scared.  I had live by myself for 21 years at this point.  What was I going to do with a 12 month old?  Was I up to this?  I didn't even have a pet so what was I going to do now?

All of that changed when my adoption group got off the elevator of the civil affairs building to get our children.

There were caregivers everywhere holding these precious little girls ready (or not) to go to their forever families in the United States.  There was even a boy adoptee in the mix.

I was with my Aunt Beverly.  She had seen the same pictures of my new daughter that I did but she didn't know which one was my Mei Yu.  It took me all of about 5 seconds to search the big room and find my soon to be daughter.  Beverly asked me how I knew it was Mei Yu and I just smiled and said, "a mother knows."

Sure enough, that was Mei Yu.  Yes, she was still Mei Yu at this point.  She looked scared and confused but adorable beyond belief.  She was dressed in a little pair of shorts with matching white cotton top trimmed in blue piping.  She had a barrette in her hair to keep the long, front locket off of her face.  She wore this tiny little pair of sandals with yellow lace that looked a little tattered on the side but she was clean and well-nourished.  And she was mine

We were told not to go to our babies because they would be "officially" given to us after we all entered the conference room.  Since I was no longer numb OR scared I went to Mei Yu's caregiver and motioned that I wanted to hold her.

Mei Yu didn't like that one bit.  She started screaming at the top of her lungs and just about broke my neck trying to get away from me.  She pushed and pushed and pushed wanting to go back to her caregiver.  I was holding on with all my might not to drop her!  I think this picture says it all.

Mei Yu continued to cry like that ALL DAY long.  The only time she stopped was when we walked into the restaurant for lunch and dinner.  I was dumbfounded because as soon as we walked in, not only did she stop crying but she started smiling and waving to everyone.  What a hoot!  She was a little social butterfly.

She was MY little social butterfly.

I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH LONGER

I can't give you the exact day the lightbulb went on but I do know it wasn't long after I moved to Missouri. 

I remember looking at my supervisor one day with total disbelief when she told me the Garrison Commander had told her to tell me how my office was to be set up.  Yes, the commander of the base, an Army colonel, had nothing better to do than to tell some peon (me) how my desk was to be situated.

Really?

How does any reasonable adult respond to something like that?

My stomach knotted up and I was screaming inside.  I wanted to cry because I just kept thinking this can't really be happening. 

Did I really create this?

Obviously I did.

But now the question was, how do I create something new?

As I look back on that period of my life, I realized that I was too old to put up with such pettiness; being told to leave my office door open regardless of the noise in the hallway, where to put my computer on my desk, what to wear or what not to wear to the office, who I was allowed to talk with, who my friends could be.

I was worn out.

After 20+ years, I needed something new to do in my life.

Don't get me wrong, I am totally greatful for all the experiences I've had...each and every one...but it was time to move on.

Unfortunately, this is where the federal government gets you. 

Retirement benefits.

I was/am so close to retirement, I'd be silly to throw away a solid pension plan with benefits.  That's another stream of income that I've worked hard for. 

HOWEVER, with all the silly games with the government (at least in my opinion), I looked to the internet to make my fortune.

My daughter was getting old enough to not need my attention 100% of the time so I was able to start exploring.

And exploring I did.

WHAT'S THE "WHY"?

Whether it's the adoption of my daughter as a single woman or wanting to be self-employed, I'm often asked "why"...why can't I just be happy with things the way they are.  After all, I had two master's degrees, traveled the world, had a good job, had good friends.  What more could I possibly want?

That's an easy question to answer.  I want more for my life.  I'm always happy but never content.  I want as much as I give and get from life.  As the saying goes, if you're not growing you're dying and I'm certainly not ready to die.  My bucket list is way too long.  :-)

I haven't always been able to articulate that but it's always been inside of me.  That gnawing feeling inside my gut.  I want more.  The thought of being and staying mediocre depresses me to no end.  I just can't imagine being on my death bed and regretting all the things I could have done but didn't.

The story is true.  You regret more of the things you didn't do than the things you actually do.

I don't know about you but I'm going for it all.  Want to join me?  I may not have ALL the answers but I can certainly help you find your own...and have a blast doing it.